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Could You Be An Astronaut? And WTF Were Those Orbs The Other Night???

  • Matthew Joaquin

Re-tool and clean up your resumes, fellow space enthusiasts. NASA is very soon looking to get you into a space suit and into the final frontier. As amazing as that would be, there are requirements required, namely a sharp intellect in fields of math and science which renders me shit out of luck as I can barely tie my shoes or comprehend why I barely make rent every month. (spoiler alert: I eat my sorrows away, I have a penchant for expensive-to-my-meager-bank-account restaurants, and my stomach always seems to be a gaping black hole. On the bright side, this black hole is not so mysterious, as I have found out it converts this food to increasingly higher numbers on my scale when I step on it.) As all things go, there is a short list to become an astronaut, and you probably won’t be picked. Everyone can dream though.

Read a bit more about if you can make the cut here.

BONUS

Everyone heard about the mysterious lights over our beautiful bit of the country here in Southern California, and I am pleased to say I’ve come across what it really was. Shouts out to the homie Lil Mayo for coming clean. Check this link for the truth.