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Sex with An Alien Who Looks Like a Hairy Michelin Man

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Nobody enjoys being taken against his or her will by aliens, especially when the abduction involves sex. Sure, sex with an extraterrestrial might be out of this world. But it sucks when you find out that alien just used you so she could get knocked up.

That’s apparently what happened to Meng Zhaoguo, a Chinese lumberjack.

This unusual encounter took place in 1994 when he was working at the Red Flag logging camp in Heilongjiang, China. He claims that, one night, he and two co-workers noticed an unusual metallic shine coming from the nearby mountains. Zhaoguo thought it might be wreckage from a downed helicopter, so he went to investigate.

As he approached the source of the mysterious glinting, he started seeing debris. But before he could investigate, he claims that something hit him in the forehead and knocked him out. When he regained consciousness, he was at his house, with no memory of how he got there.

It gets stranger.

Zhaoguo alleges that, a few nights later, he woke up and found himself hovering above his bed, and a fat alien was riding him. And, if things weren’t weird enough, Zhaoguo’s wife and daughter were sound asleep on the bed below him. But neither woke during the forty minute mating session. When the hairy situation was done, the extraterrestrial disappeared, and Zhaoguo floated back down to bed.

The encounter scarred him, literally. When the alien disappeared, Zhaoguo noticed a two-inch jagged gash on his thigh.

He describes this extraterrestrial rapist as ten feet tall with six fingers on each hand. She also had some seriously sexy thighs that were covered in thick braided hair. An author who interviewed Zhaoguo about the encounter asked him to draw the extraterrestrial offender. The author described what Zhaoguo drew as “a hairy cousin of the Michelin Man.”


The extraterrestrials paid Zhaoguo another visit a month later. He claims that he awoke as his body was being transported through the walls of his home onto the alien craft. There, the visitors explained to him that they were refugees who fled a dying planet. He asked to see the female who jumped his bones, but she wasn’t there. However, the aliens did break the news to him that he is going to be the father of her child. But apparently the pregnancy runs for an extremely long time. He was told in 1994 that his child would be born in sixty years.

After going public with his abduction story, Zhaoguo submitted to polygraph testing that reportedly indicated that he was being truthful.

If this incident really went down like he says it did, and if the aliens were also being truthful, then, in thirty nine years, a lumberjack-Michelin Man hybrid baby will be born on a far away planet.

maincat:space space wtf

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