Over the last decade, we’ve slowly manifested ourselves into a culture that depends on our smart devices to be smart for us. We can barely put down our phones at the dinner table in order to have a non-technology driven interaction with another human, and now, a few innovative companies have discovered how we can avoid having to touch someone in the ultimate human-to-human interaction—screwing.
Don’t get me wrong, interactive sex toys have been around for a long time, but these new products are really next level when it comes to our love of technology. In 2014, the makers of the Fleshlight announced the new Fleshlight Launchpad, essentially a case for your iPad so you can dock your artificial vagina right to your screen. Interactive Life Forms, the Launchpad’s creator, suggests you use the product to, “Enjoy your favorite content or connect with a friend for some intimate face time.” If you combine that with the new FaceTiming vagina cam, it’s essentially watching the point-of-view of your dick, should you choose to fuck an actual human.
Yes, you heard it right. A vibrator with an HD camera that syncs to Apple’s FaceTime has graced the markets this year. At the retail price of $179.00 USD, you can own the ultimate ”selfie-stick.” Created by Love Honey, the Svakom Siime Intimate Sex Selfie Stick HD Camera Vibrator not only holds the longest name for a sex-toy, it also aims to suck all the mystery out of the all-mighty and powerful vagina. Recorded footage can be uploaded to Mac, PCs, and smart phones via a USB port at the bottom of the device. It’s also waterproof for shower play. The company asks the all-important question, “Have you ever wondered what happens inside the body during climax? The Svakom Sex Selfie Stick provides all the answers…” Is it just us or does this endoscopic camera sound more clinical than sexy?
Aside from literally having sex with your smart devices, other companies are vying to be at the fore-front of this technology sex boom. Devices such as the SexFit, which is basically a fitness app for sexual performance, robot arms that will simulate intercourse, and other virtual-reality based experiences are currently being tested for human consumption.
Are we headed down a destitute path where artificial sex will become the norm? Sleeping with robots and forgetting the feel of actual human touch? On the one hand, that could help with population control, that is, until someone figures out how to simulate robot sperm and eggs. Presumably, that’s when we’ll have little hybrid-android babies running around clearly leading to the extinction of human kind as we know it. For now, I guess have fun with it, if that’s your thing.
Ring, Ring! You should probably pick up; it’s my vagina calling . . .